Today I am thinking about two messages. One our pastor delivered yesterday, the other from the ministry leaders conference my (wonderful and amazing) husband was at last week. One is about the heart being “deceitful above all things”. The other is about giving up your birth rite for a measly bowl of soup.

We all have a tendency to lie to ourselves. And even if we are “really good” Christians, our heart never gets rid of its desire to lie to us. Well, not lie exactly. Deceive. Which is a lot harder to detect. Because deceit has just enough truth in it to make it believable. (The serpent in the garden anyone?)

For instance, I can eat this cream stick today, I start my diet on Monday. I am deceiving myself, I am not going to diet on Monday, and even if I was that doesn’t mean I can gorge today! How about “I’ll tithe when I have more money, I can’t afford it now.” Really, when you have more money and a bigger house, more expensive car, larger credit card balances, THATS when you think you will tithe?

What’s worse is that when we are deceiving ourselves, we are giving up something great for simple bowl of soup. For those who may not be familiar with the story, in Genesis we learn about how Esau sold his birthrite, to his brother, for some immediate gratification of stew. He gave up God being the “God of Abraham Isaac and Esau” instead God is the “God of Abraham Isaac and Jacob”. Esau could have been the father of the entire nation of Israel, instead he sold that to his twin, for a bowl of soup. Its not even like he was starving, he could have just made it himself.

When I eat that cream stick today (because I’ll start my diet tomorrow), I am giving up feeling good about how I look. For 5 minutes of sugary pleasure and a stomach ache. When I choose not to tithe “because I can’t afford it” I am giving up the amazing blessings that God would pour out on me for stepping out on faith and giving back to him.

So here is what I am deceiving myself about. Please don’t think badly of me, but it is time I get honest.

I   am   a   poor   housekeeper.
Why? Because I am lazy and disorganized.

There I said it, it is out in the open now. I could say that its because Alex gets toys out everytime I turn around. Or that it is fall so the dog is shedding more. Or that our apartment is small and so it just seems messier. All of that might be true, but that has nothing to do with why my dishes are rarely caught up, or why there are baskets of clothes that need folded and put away. (Little bit of truth with a lie)

And what am I giving a clean house (and the peace and contentment and ability to “breath” that goes with it) for? An hour or two of TV or internet. See my apartment really isn’t all that big. I could clean it up really rather quickly if I just DID it. And I a m not even talking about giving up time playing and snuggling with my kids. (I wouldn’t give that up even for a clean house!) I’m talking about after they are fast asleep. You can ask Jason, I am a much pleasenter person when I have a clean house.

It will change though. Confession is the first step. I am not going to be perfect, but I am going to work on it. First thing I am going to do, is make a schedule for myself, and stick to it.

Now, these are both very powerful messages. Please don’t think I have trivialized them by applying them to my housekeeping skills. And please don’t think that this is the only area of my life to which they apply. This is merely the only area I am willing to share with everyone.

I challenge you, what are you deceiving yourself about? And what are you giving up for your “bowl of soup”?

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